To My Boys

My children are three and three months, so obviously they don’t understand, they just know maybe mom isn’t there as much as she normally is, especially G. He’s more cognizant of it. If I could tell them anything, I would tell them something like this…



I don’t think we’re so easily defined. I think life is so much more complicated, and we’re an ever-evolving sum of a variety of things. There’s beauty in that chaos.


Whoop, There It Is

It’s…isolating. Exhaustion. Frustration and frustrating. I just want to sleep, and sleep, and sleep until this feeling goes away. 


Bittersweet Moments

I’m so excited for R to be here, to see him, to see what he looks like, and I am so damn ready to not be pregnant: to bend at the waist, to see my toes, to be able to take an ibuprofen, to have a beer and/or glass of wine. But.



I’m just telling you, as a mom of almost two, who loves my babies more than life itself; no one, and I mean no one gets to tell me what I can or can’t do with my reproductive system. Sorry.

Whoops, got a little heated and a little controversial.



This is my last pregnancy. I’ve known that for most of the pregnancy. My father-in-law is aghast at this, because “You’re so young!” but, for us, it makes sense. 


It’s All Over

It’s all over.

Well, grad school anyhow.

I’m waiting on one grade, then I can really breathe a sigh of relief.

At this, point, I’m somehow both relieved and exhausted. I’ve gone to bed around 8 the past two nights. I can’t make myself do grading.

And as much as I want to say that I’m going to have a relaxing next sixish weeks (until my due date!) We have so much to do: baby clothes washing, cleaning carpets, deep-cleaning the house, packing hospital bags, packing the diaper bag, SO MUCH STUFF!

And…I’m pretty sure I started having contractions yesterday. Which is pretty on-par with my first pregnancy. I started having contractions, dilating, and effacing at 34.5 weeks…soooo. We just started half a week early this time?

Hospital bags are now a priority.

I wish that I could turn the energy that I expended on grad school toward all the other stuff that needs done, but fuck. I just can’t.

I want to sleep for the next….year? And, yes, the irony of saying that with a baby on the way isn’t lost on me. I’m just fucking drained, man.

But…either way. I’m done with grad school. Done. I will never be a college student of any kind again.

It is a relief.

And. Baby Boy 2 will be here before we know it.

My life looks pretty good right now.